I think the Beatles got it wrong. I think it’s a great song, but “love is all you need” doesn’t ring true to me. I think trust is more important. Ive loved many people. But that love dies when they violate my trust. It’s usually followed by a lot of hand wringing, and angst, but inevitably, the love dies when the trust dies.
If you don’t trust a person, how can you love them? Trust is something that is earned through actions. It is the sense of security that allows both parties to expose themselves fully without any judgments or fears. If someone can break your trust in any way, shape, or form, it isn’t true love.
Trust is enough because trust enhances love. We can love someone because we once trusted him or her, but as soon as that trust is destroyed, that initial love that was built on trust, isn’t enough.
Trust is an emotional act. We must be vulnerable and trust that someone will accept us and learn to love us. Trust will not blind us from the facts. Love, on the other hand, is blind. Because we are accustomed to trusting someone and thinking he or she will never break our trust, our emotions get the best of us and do not allow us to face the sad truth. The love we have for a person clouds our judgment and instills fear within us; and broken trust forces us to see the harsh reality of the situation and face that fear.
No relationship will survive without trust. Trust is the central pillar in any real relationship. It requires that we listen and communicate our wants and needs. Above anything else, trust requires honesty. Once that trust is broken, it is almost impossible to go back to the way things were without the doubt and the fear of trust being broken again.
Trust allows us to believe. It not only allows us to believe others, but it allows us to believe in ourselves. We do not believe in ourselves until someone else puts his or her trust in us. If he or she makes us believe that we are capable of doing anything, then we start to believe it ourselves.
Trust allows us to love, again. Trust always leads to love. After our trust has been broken, we are more cautious about whom to trust again. Better yet, whom to love again. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t trust anybody. It simply means that we are aware that trusting someone is a risk.
There are various types of love in our lives. There us only one type of trust .. it is absolute, it is sacrosanct, it is inviolate. It is the unscrambled egg, the clean smooth blank piece of paper. And it can never be restored to its original beautiful pure state once its been violated, or scrambled or crumpled.
“ I love you” is a sacred statement..
“I trust you” means even more ..
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